I-Trash

This publication is a release of all feelings personal and should under no circumstances be equated to being a negative feedback. The fact that I am spending a substantial amount of time I am supposed to be freewheeling, goes on to speak of my appreciation for the things I am about to portray as evil.

The exaggeration - An average 24 year old working Indian earns something around $1,000 every month, spends 35% (I started off with 30% but then got reminded of the recent petrol price hike) of it on basic living, 30% on luxury, 20% on family and the final 15% on things I call I-Trash. Now some of my American or European friends may find this 15% an over exaggeration but most of my Indian friends, who share this unconditional love for all things that help them realize their alter ego, would agree.

The lucky critic - Without questions I accept the fact - "I am from the stone age". I live off an $50 phone that's been running for the last 2 years and argue in favor of the fact that cell phones are used only for calling people and sending that occasional text message. But lucky  me!! I have all it needs to be the critic. My 6Ft, 200 lbs Americanized flatmate breathes "I", which means I get to play with The I-Pad and The I-Phone !!

The I-Pad - [Paad'] in Hindi means fart and I dare not call it The I-Fart

Purchased : 2011 ; Usage : 5 - 10 hours a week for reading news feeds, face booking, playing angry birds (personal favorite) and Asphalt ; Damage : $1,000

Almost an year into its existence, the shiny silver white still glitters, the touch pad shows not a scratch and not a sign of lag. But then, flipping through e-paper and and delicately predicting the projectile motion of the angriest of birds isn't supposed to wrinkle or scratch glass, is it? Some call it quality, others credit the owners as I foolishly question the usage. Again, on retrospection what else could it be used for? I-pod plays good music, laptop takes care of the news and the birds (and does a lot more too); essentially, helps me earn. Around the same time I got introduced to the "Pad", I had gifted my mom a gold ring which looked slightly tarnished the last I was home. They have started adulterating gold, should have gifted an I-Pad instead!!

The I-Phone -Unfortunate, Hindi doesn't help me with the analog neither does Mandarin. But I-Respect

Purchased : 2012; Usage : 1 hour a day, taking pictures, uploading Instagram images, setting reminders, talking and texting ; Damage : $1,000 again

Thankfully, it has got the normal voice dialing capabilities. Just when I was starting to wonder why I never received a call from the I-Phone, my flatmate finally managed to get it configured. 6 weeks after the pack was opened, it was finally about to fulfill its primary purpose. Think of this. You are filthy rich, you just lost your phone, you are being chased by goons and you run into an I-Store, buy an I phone and realize it takes ages to get this thing to make a call !! The camera's brilliant and so is Instagram but I could have gone professional with that kind of money. For everything else there was always the I-Pad and the $50 phone.

Not that I hate the I's or the corporation that's gone ballistic by selling things which do nothing but make people look rich and decorated. My sole problem, even if a lot of people think like this : http://www.motoringcrunch.com/news/mobile-tech/10788-siri-iphone-4s-steve-jobs-ad , I would have been glad to see Siri helping the blind rather than my flatmate to set up a reminder.

Cheers !!

P.S. Friends of the I-Freaks, nothing to lose, laugh out loud!!

I-freaks, food for thought!!

Evenings and coffees

Thanks to my dad, I know a bit about coffee. Presently with the market facing a gross short supply and investors pumping in billions into the commodities market a kg of clean coffee beans cost around 180 rupees. A bit of help, and fifteen minutes later adding up the cost of the milk, the sugar, the cream and even a small rent on the mug, my king sized mug of coffee doesn’t cost any more than Rs 13.55(cant help it ,the figure on my calculator screen). Add the services, the cushioned chairs and whatever, my mug served steaming hot will now at most be Rs 20.
After spending a month of my summer vacations in front of the modest ‘paan dukkan’, sipping in ‘garam chai’ at not more than Rs 3.00 I, for once tried to explore the reasons that made me visit the up market ‘café coffee days’ and the ‘baristas’ where a cup of cappuccino cost me no less that rupees forty only. As idiotic as you may find me I did find half a dozen reasons.

1. The pain in the ass: Sitting on a wooden plank or the seat of a bike is no way as comfortable as the plush chairs of a CCD. I now have to stand up every fifteen minutes to relieve my ass of the pain. I simply loved those chairs. A definite and valid reason to pay the extra 20 rupees on every cup!!

2. The incentive: In a group of six you didn’t always have to order a mug. You could take your day off and enjoy a sip from every other mug, only to face the awful eyes of the waiter who keeps on asking “anything else sir?” until you lose all your shame and say it loud and clear “nothing for me!”
3. Hassle free smoking: Every time I go smoking, the fear of being caught is more than the fear of dying from cancer. So often it has to be behind a bush or behind the paan dukkan itself. CCD did give me a quiet corner to have a smoke with my friends’ and no, smoking wasn’t banned in public places before 2nd October 2008.
4. Walk in, find a friend: No calls made or received, its 5:30 in the evening and I walk straight into a CCD. No surprises I find a group of friends and the evening was gone. Paan dukkan and the chai have definitely contributed to my increasing phone bills.
5. The dude thing: “Hey mate! Where are you?” this is probably the first line in every call I receive after 5 in the evening and buoy CCD sounded great for an answer, now it’s the paan dukkan behind some big hotel.
6. The treat: Okay I cant miss this. Sizzling hot coffee and a sizzling hot chick (on the other table of course)!! That was a deadly combo. CCD’s do give my dried up eyes (study where I do , and you’ll imagine the Bedouin’s are better off) the biggest treat.

The coffee joints in town have definitely given me their best for years but this summer I suppose it was time for a change. May be I was bored watching the same ladies who took the same table in the corner every evening, or the monotony of the identical taste of the cappuccino. Good bye CCD, bbbyee Barista.