Sunday, June 3, 2012


This publication is a release of all feelings personal and should under no circumstances be equated to being a negative feedback. The fact that I am spending a substantial amount of time I am supposed to be freewheeling, goes on to speak of my appreciation for the things I am about to portray as evil.

The exaggeration - An average 24 year old working Indian earns something around $1,000 every month, spends 35% (I started off with 30% but then got reminded of the recent petrol price hike) of it on basic living, 30% on luxury, 20% on family and the final 15% on things I call I-Trash. Now some of my American or European friends may find this 15% an over exaggeration but most of my Indian friends, who share this unconditional love for all things that help them realize their alter ego, would agree.

The lucky critic - Without questions I accept the fact - "I am from the stone age". I live off an $50 phone that's been running for the last 2 years and argue in favor of the fact that cell phones are used only for calling people and sending that occasional text message. But lucky  me!! I have all it needs to be the critic. My 6Ft, 200 lbs Americanized flatmate breathes "I", which means I get to play with The I-Pad and The I-Phone !!

The I-Pad - [Paad'] in Hindi means fart and I dare not call it The I-Fart
Purchased : 2011 ; Usage : 5 - 10 hours a week for reading news feeds, face booking, playing angry birds (personal favorite) and Asphalt ; Damage : $1,000
Almost an year into its existence, the shiny silver white still glitters, the touch pad shows not a scratch and not a sign of lag. But then, flipping through e-paper and and delicately predicting the projectile motion of the angriest of birds isn't supposed to wrinkle or scratch glass, is it? Some call it quality, others credit the owners as I foolishly question the usage. Again, on retrospection what else could it be used for? I-pod plays good music, laptop takes care of the news and the birds (and does a lot more too); essentially, helps me earn. Around the same time I got introduced to the "Pad", I had gifted my mom a gold ring which looked slightly tarnished the last I was home. They have started adulterating gold, should have gifted an I-Pad instead!!

The I-Phone -Unfortunate, Hindi doesn't help me with the analog neither does Mandarin. But I-Respect
Purchased : 2012; Usage : 1 hour a day, taking pictures, uploading Instagram images, setting reminders, talking and texting ; Damage : $1,000 again
Thankfully, it has got the normal voice dialing capabilities. Just when I was starting to wonder why I never received a call from the I-Phone, my flatmate finally managed to get it configured. 6 weeks after the pack was opened, it was finally about to fulfill its primary purpose. Think of this. You are filthy rich, you just lost your phone, you are being chased by goons and you run into an I-Store, buy an I phone and realize it takes ages to get this thing to make a call !! The camera's brilliant and so is Instagram but I could have gone professional with that kind of money. For everything else there was always the I-Pad and the $50 phone.

Not that I hate the I's or the corporation that's gone ballistic by selling things which do nothing but make people look rich and decorated. My sole problem, even if a lot of people think like this : , I would have been glad to see Siri helping the blind rather than my flatmate to set up a reminder.

Cheers !!
P.S. Friends of the I-Freaks, nothing to lose, laugh out loud!!
I-freaks, food for thought!!


Amit said...

lolified.. bt so much of $ .. wht hppnd to gud old indianized bucks? :)

Vaibhav Dash said...

Join EIL..n u will soon realise the trashed I is only alive E"I"L..